The joy of goodbyes and the winds of change

You get good at saying goodbye when you’re on the road of life. The way that both your soul’s meet for a varied length of time, exchanging care, support, love, information and advice, before, eventually, the day must come to say ‘far thee well’. I used to really hate goodbyes, whatever length of time that we had together, it was always difficult to bid them farewell and then spending time investing in getting to know a whole other new person.

I’m starting to see the joy in saying goodbye to the wonderful people I meet along this journey. I’m finding the people that are coming into my life, for whatever duration, are indeed, very soulful and special people. The people who are navigating towards me, or me towards them, are the exact people who I’m supposed to be meeting right now, in this current state of my life. I’m enjoying the initial pleasures of asking the usual questions- what’s your name, where are you from, where are you going, and I especially enjoy finding out about people’s stories, however much they wish to share with me. The people that I’m finding in my life lately, have mostly been free thinkers, on the path of self-discovery and willing to have an in-depth conversation. For me, deep conversation is vulnerability, and vulnerability is connection.

These special people whom I’m meeting, aren’t so different from me. They’re seekers, intellects with big open loving hearts, willing to help me at the drop of a hat. I have had the kindest offers from strangers and acquaintances, willing to help me anyway possible- from suggesting places to visit, good places to eat, to offering me a couch to sleep on, and paying for my meal. The generosity has been liberally flowing to me, which I’m forever grateful for.

The people I’ve met along the way, have all seen a depth to me in such a short amount of time, that their reflections have been eerily accurate and so wonderfully received. To be seen and heard to this depth is truly profound. To be well received and cared for, with so little time knowing each other, is something incredible. It further reaffirms my deep seated belief that all humans are inherently good, and want to help others as much as they possibly can.

Today, I went out to brunch with the yoga teacher who was teaching in the little village that I’ve been staying near for the past 3 weeks. I asked if she would like to go for coffee sometime as I felt like she had an interesting story to share with the little that she had shared with me already. We went for lunch and chatting away and suddenly, we’re in the depths of a conversation regarding self-sovereignty and belief, which was exactly what I needed to hear. Shortly after, another woman arrived who was from Australia originally. She has been living out here for 5 years and is building her house with her own 2 hands…inspiring. I asked her all the questions about how she got here, how much was the land, how does she support herself financially etc, as this kind of life is something that I am dreaming about doing someday. She told me all I needed to know, gave me hope and inspiration, and then she had to be on her way, errands to run. This genuine heart-to-heart interaction lifted me up for the entire day. The way in which wonderful knowledge and wisdom was exchanged so freely and willingly truly lit me up. I had the most joyful of experiences in saying goodbye to this wonderful soul for all her wisdom she had just imparted on me, all in the space of 30 minutes.

These people who I’m meeting are joyful, inspiring, willing to share and exchange, hopeful, magnetic and alight with wonder and passion. And what’s even more beautiful, is that I can see the people who I’m meeting on this journey, are indeed mirrors and reflections of my own inner state, which is gives me beautiful confirmation that the person whom I’m becoming, is the person who I indeed, am desiring to become.

I’m seeing these ‘joyful goodbyes’ as little confirmative signs that I’m meeting the people whom I’m supposed to meet for me to have the learning and growth experiences needed in my life at that right time. They also show me that, goodbyes don’t have to be sad affairs, that they can be joyous as it means that you’ve brought enjoyment, wonder and love to each other’s lives for a certain amount of time, you’ve learned from one another, inspired, helped, supported etc, which is always helpful on this path of life, wherever you may be. Two souls coming together for a period to help one another. These joyous goodbyes for me, are so very memorable and I always reflect on these memories fondly.

I’m also getting pretty good at feeling when the time has come to say goodbye, to leave a place, a person’s home, to part ways with a travel person, and go my own way. I believe that this intuitive feeling is indeed a superpower as nobody likes that guest who overstays their welcome and can’t take a hint that its time to move on. I feel that by tuning into the energy of when the time has come to part ways, there’s no resentment there, the joy is still there of being in each other’s presence, and the departure still feels joyous.

I feel like the principle of ‘non-attachment’ has also helped me significantly on this path of saying goodbye with joy. Healthy non-attachment to outcomes, to people needing to stay in my life, to material possessions etc. Of course, I still enjoy having these things in my life, but not the necessity of NEEDING them in my life to bring me joy and happiness. With unhealthy attachment, only suffering can result when these things are taken away from us. By all means, its not about closing my heart off and not loving, on the contrary, it’s that I love so much with an open heart that it becomes easier to stay non-attached as the love I feel isn’t a selfish love. I don’t want to hang onto them just for the sake of my validation, or to quell my suffering, it’s that I love openly without tendrils attached, that its about letting them go with love and adoration. It’s like that saying- when you love someone, let them go. No one likes it when they feel smothered by love, love should feel expansive, boundless, limitless, not controlling, manipulative and stuffy.

It’s funny, when I started to feel the inspiration for expressing this piece of myself and writing about this, the winds of change started. I had already planned to leave Dean’s house -where I’ve been staying for the last 3 weeks helping him out on his property, tending to the garden, caring for his animals, and cooking scrumptious food. The day started off calm and by midday, the breeze was bellowing, and trees were dancing wildly. For me, I’ve never liked the wind, I don’t like its erratic nature, the cold breeze, the disruption to my peace. However, for me, winds signal change, a gust of fresh air to shake things up, to agitate and stimulate the senses, to push things in a different direction. This wind of change was the extra confirmation that my time here, in the Alpujarra’s (southern Spain), has come to a happy end, before I overstay my welcome. I know that this will be a joyous goodbye. I’ve needed this space of deep integration, solitude, nature, simplicity, to really be in my body, in my heart and to be firmly grounded in my new self. I’ve loved how the synchronicities of me being here has occurred.

My friend Zoe from Australia told me that she had a Canadian friend living in Granada who I caught up with when I was living there and studying Spanish. I met Nancy and we immediately hit it off. I told Nancy that I was looking for a workaway in quiet nature as a place to go to after the Magdalena retreat as I knew that I would need a place to ground afterwards. She immediately messaged her friend Dean as she used to live in the Alpujarra region and they’re good friends. Dean replied back saying that yes, he was looking for help around the house and it was settled. Consequently, the people I’ve met in these 3 weeks of being at Dean’s house have been wonderfully friendly, supportive, generous and so very kind. I’m forever grateful for the flow of travel and how one connection can lead you onto an entirely different path meeting the people that you’re supposed to at the exact right time.

I trust in that flow x